Getting Caught!
by AlphaDerekMakesMeDrool
Summary: Sheriff Stilinski may have a hard time dealing with Derek and Stiles' relationship, it's understandable when you consider how he learns about it.. Was going to be the same event from multiple POV. But I'm having trouble with that, so now it's just a series of ridiculous scenarios that result in the Sheriff finding out Stiles and Derek are dating/having sex..
1. Stiles' Bedroom

Sheriff Stilinski wasn't entirely certain what had prompted him to go in to the room and wake Stiles, instead of just calling up while he was making breakfast like he usually did. Holy Crap - he wasn't prepared for what he saw. He could only see the barest glimpse of Stiles, he was hidden almost completely from view by the hulking muscular mass beside him. The shirtless hulking muscular mass, with a tattoo!

The loving and supportive, he hoped, single father steeled his resolve and tried to convince himself that the whole scene was probably more innocent than it appeared. He wished he could unsee, the shirtless guy who was sleeping under the covers next to his teenage son. He didn't know how to handle this situation, give him a robber or an animal attack any day.

While it was true that he'd suspected Stiles was gay, he thought boyfriends were pretty low down the list of things he had to worry about - the Mahealani kid had just never seemed interested before. He'd always thought Danny was a nice kid and actually recalled hearing about an incident where Stiles asked 'if Danny thought he was attractive'. He decided to avoid further embarrassment, by letting them sleep on. Certain that Danny would sneak out the window.

_'TOP DAD!'_

That thought wouldn't last. He noticed Stiles' room was unusually tidy, he noticed 2 pairs of discarded Jeans on the floor and then he noticed the tiny pair of white boxer/briefs, also on the floor. It took a split second - Stiles doesn't have any underwear that doesn't have superheroes on it. His resolve to be grown-up and have the talk with Stiles later, disappeared completely. Danny would definitely be leaving by the window, only it wouldn't be his choice. He strode across the room purposefully.

"Stiles, Danny." his voice raised, NO, not raised - shouting. But that was just semantics.

He thought he saw Stiles attempt to sit up, but Danny's arm across his chest had made it almost impossible. Suddenly he was by the bed, he gripped Danny's shoulder and pulled against it in such a way that he simultaneously woke him and rolled him onto his back. He blinked, confused, before resorting to shouting again.

"Derek Hale, Derek FUCKING Hale."

Any thought or recollection of events more than 1 second ago left him, he attempted to man-handle Derek Hale out of Stiles' bed. Did Derek's eyes just flash red? NO, that was ridiculous it had just been a trick of the light or his imagination. He finally pulled Derek out of Stiles' bed, putting distance between this twenty-something man and his teenage son did nothing to help his temper.

Since Derek was not wearing the tiny white boxer/briefs he suddenly recalled seeing on the floor, he actually caught a glimpse of Derek's surprisingly large endowment. _'You violated my son with that thing.'_

Completely enraged he wrestled Derek up against the wall. As Derek slammed into the solid surface he growled, NO, not growled, people don't growl. "Dad, Dad. Please stop!" Stiles' voice struck him like a baseball bat, his son sounded genuinely terrified. It got through to him. He loosened his grip on Derek, finally releasing him. He turned to see Stiles standing beside the bed wrapped in a sheet.

If Stiles had been standing beside the bed in his boxer shorts, that might have helped to defuse the situation somewhat. But now there was no escaping the fact that his son was indeed naked and that he'd had sex with Derek. He was about to wrestle Derek into the wall again, but Stiles' expression of stress and terror forced him to restrain himself. He'd like to have found out that his son was gay under completely different circumstances, but now that he knew he had to be supportive, not angry.

"Get Dressed, then get out of my house before I arrest you". he said to Derek. Then he turned his attention to his son "Stiles, skip Lacrosse practice today. We're going to have to talk about this."


	2. Painting And Decorating

It was the third time this week! Admittedly the 1st time Stiles had come home, from helping to decorate the newly constructed Hale House, with large paint hand-prints on the backside of his grey sweat pants, it hadn't been that much of a cause for concern. A bunch of teenagers helping to decorate a large palatial house, was bound to result in pranks and general silliness.

With easy access to paint, it was inevitable that somebody would get their face or back rollered, that "clever" sorts would paint nipples on people's t-shirts and that somebody would ass grab with paint on their hands. But to always pick the same target was weird and why was it always both hands, this was clearly something that was going to need investigating. But it didn't seem that serious so it could wait until tomorrow.

* * *

The following day Stiles arrived home, a few minutes before curfew, with large midnight blue hand-prints on the backside of his ancient and badly ripped jeans. When he went to the fridge to get a drink, it became apparent that the back of his t-shirt was also midnight blue. It wasn't a roller mark, it looked more like he'd been pressed up against a wall.

"Stiles, which room is being painted midnight blue? I only ask, because you have a large quantity of midnight blue paint on your back."

"Oh! Eh, one of the reception rooms I think. I can't really remember, it's such a big house."

Yes, there it was Stiles was definitely lying. The only time he didn't spew word vomit everywhere, was when he was lying, when he had some cause to consider what he was actually saying. Live with a kid for 16 years and you'll definitely learn to tell when they're lying, especially when that kid is Stiles. Who despite the trouble he always seemed to be in, was a really easy kid to raise, because of the fact that he couldn't lie to save his life.

"OK! No problem."

A few minutes later, hoking in the fridge it became apparent that Stiles had finished the last of the soda. Just thirsty, he didn't want to drink Jack, Jack was reserved for rough days and tough cases, there was still time to get to the store. Arriving at the checkout with two 12 packs of soda. He noticed Derek Hale ahead of him in the queue, with midnight blue paint spattered all over his grey wifebeater and, more worryingly, caked over the palms of his hands.

"Hello Derek, nice colour scheme.", he gestured towards Derek's hands, "I've never really cared for blue living areas myself, it's just makes the room feel cold."

"Sheriff!" followed by a silent pause, "Midnight blue is my favourite colour, I'm painting my bedroom this colour. Most of the living areas will be neutral, creams and tans."

"Oh, well that sounds very nice. Really homey! Your up now." he gestured towards the checkout girl.

Although he felt he had a better grasp of the situation now, he couldn't speak with Stiles until he had concrete proof. Stiles may have been a horrible liar, but he was adept at distraction and confusion. Even the Sheriff, who at this point really should know better, had fallen for it on numerous occasions. If it was ever necessary to confront Stiles about something, it was essential to have all the facts, allowing Stiles wiggle room was always a bad idea.

* * *

He felt a little guilty for sneaking Stiles phone, during the night, but he needed to speak with people, about his son, who weren't Scott. Because Scott might be able to lie more convincingly on the phone, or as an alternative hadn't noticed anything happening with Stiles. Scott frequently failed to notice things, not connected to Allison, he was actually about as observant as a blind mouse, who'd just been crushed to death with a brick.

"Hello Lydia, this is Sheriff Stilinski."

"Sheriff!"

"I'm sorry to alarm you, it's just I'm a little worried about Stiles. I know you've never been close in the past, but you both seem pretty close now and I feel it's a safe bet that he's opened up to you."

"Well yes, we are more friendly these days."

"I'm sorry if I sound overbearing, and I realise you don't want to betray Stiles' trust. But I have reason to believe that Stiles may have gotten involved in a sexual relationship with a much older man. I don't care if he's gay, I'll love him no matter what. But I don't want to see him end up in situation that he's not emotionally mature enough for, I don't want to see him taken advantage of."

"Sorry Sheriff, I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary with Stiles. But then how could you tell, what's ordinary with Stiles? OK! Coming Mom, I have to go bye."

Yeah! Lydia was definitely hiding something, she clearly knew more than she was letting on and she was desperate not to talk about it, especially with the sheriff. Which wasn't that surprising, he had police training and an access to a police armoury. She probably assumed the worst, that he going to threaten Derek away with guns. Which if he was entirely honest, he was genuinely considering.

"Danny! It's Sheriff Stilinski here."

"Sheriff, am I in trouble or a witness or something."

"Nothing as dramatic as that, I'm just a little concerned about Stiles and you seem like the perfect person to approach with my concerns."

"I don't know why you'd think that! I like Stiles but I don't have much to do with him socially."

"I believe Stiles maybe gay. I think he'd confide something like that in you, he seems to like you and he values your opinion."

"I don't - Sheriff, I'd like to help you out. But I don't know anything."

"OK, Danny here's the deal. You tell me what you know and I'll see if I can get your fake ID back to.", he hated himself, but he had to break through teen defences somehow.

"Well!"

"I think he may be having sex with a much older man, is that something you might know about?"

"I knew Miguel wasn't his cousin!"

"Miguel, there' a Miguel?"

"Sheriff? Are you OK? I thought you knew about Migu.. you didn't mean Miguel, did you? Relax! I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds. Stiles doesn't have 2 older boyfriends, that's just stupid."

"You're probably right!"

He hung up without saying goodbye, he didn't want to give Danny the chance to say anything else. Stiles had 2 boyfriends and he was sexually active with both of them, this was so much worse than anything he'd already managed to come up. Derek was living proof that his son had terrible taste in men, an accused serial killer, and somebody he'd never even seen called Miguel, who could be any sort of deviant. He was almost tempted to phone Danny back and beg him to look at mugshots until he pointed Miguel out.

* * *

"Stiles, who exactly is Miguel?"

The best way to handle this situation was head on, to barrel through without giving Stiles a chance to think of a lie. He knew this from experience. Stiles my have been good at thinking on his feet, but not when he was being forced to provide some form of explanation. He could see Stiles' brain trying to shift in to a gear that might enable him to lie both quickly and convincingly, but he also knew that it would never happen. He knew that Stiles knew it was never going to happen, as well, he recognised the look of defeat that spread across Stiles' face. The look that always accompanied Stiles giving up.

"Danny told you?" he sighed exasperated, "Danny was here, we were working on a Chemistry project and I was harbouring Derek at the same time. Because, he wasn't actually guilty y'know, but I couldn't exactly tell Danny who he was. So I told him that Derek was my cousin Miguel, I don't think he believed me."

"Well that's a relief, at least I only need to arrest 1 twenty-something for statutory rape."

"What?"

He held the ancient pair of ripped jeans, Stiles had been wearing the day before, and waited to see how Stiles would react to the incriminating evidence. Stiles shrugged his shoulders and tried to act casual, although his face was flushed and his hands fidgeted There was no clearer indication that Stiles wanted to be somewhere else, in fact he looked like being on a crashing plane would somehow be preferable to being here with his father.

"I saw Derek at the store yesterday, with midnight blue paint on his hands, would I be right in thinking that these are Derek's hand prints. Derek was also kind enough to inform my that his bedroom was being painted midnight blue."

Stiles nodded, his head hung low, trying to train his gaze on the floor but settling for anywhere that wasn't his father's face. Sure that he was going to get some honest answers now, the Sheriff proceeded to produce the rest of the incriminating evidence in the form of Stiles' t-shirt. Stiles somehow found the ability to turn an even deeper shade of red, it was impressive and confirmed that he knew what the Sheriff was thinking, but more than that it confirmed that the Sheriff was right.

"Stiles, I decorated this house with your mother, I seen all of this before. I know about the silly things you do when you're in love and I just want to be sure that your not doing them with the wrong person. I don't care if your gay! I just don't want to see you get hurt or taken advantage of, it's my job to protect you from everything bad in the world, including a broken heart."

Stiles nodded, "We were just making out dad. Derek's refused to have sex with me until I turn 18, he really is a good guy and he'd never hurt me or my heart, I know it."

"OK then! Stiles don't be afraid to talk to me, I'm not here to judge you. I'm just here to love and protect you, to try and help you. Please remember that."

"OK, dad!"

"And please remind Derek that I have a gun and enough knowledge of forensics to get away murder."


	3. Nosy Neighbours

Notes: If it's in _Italics_ the Sheriff is thinking it, if it's in **Bold** Stiles is thinking it..

* * *

"Sheriff Stilinski, you need to keep that boy of yours on a leash."

"Oh God, what's he done this time Mrs McPhee?"

"Well I glanced out my window this afternoon, only to see porn, Sheriff."

"You glan-uh, I mean - Porn?"

"Yes Sheriff, he was standing on your porch!"

_'Don't say masturbating, please, don't say masturbating'_

"Kissing somebody."

"Kissing somebody isn't exactly porn, Mrs McPhee." he chuckled and then cut himself off, when Mrs McPhee delivered the ball-shivelling stare that had probably killed her husband.

"You don't understand, he was kissing another man. We can't have them doing that in the streets, thinking that people accept such abhorrent behaviour."

"My son is not abhorrent. Mrs McPhee if you can't keep your nose on the inside of your curtains for 5 seconds, then it's your own fault if you happen to witness something that you wish you hadn't. I appreciate you alerting me to fact my son may be gay, but I must stress I wasn't elected Sheriff to enforce your bigotry. If my son has a boyfriend and chooses to kiss him on my porch, that is their business and to a lesser extent my business, but it shall never be your business so stop interferring you old crone.

Mrs McPhee was taken aback at the Sheriff's outburst, to say the least, she stared at him for a few seconds then went inside. That was probably going to cost him votes when he had to run for re-election, thankfully Mrs McPhee and most of other Tea and Scandal set would probably be dead by then.

_'Roll on harsh Winter.'_

No that was wrong it wasn't Mrs McPhee's fault that she was the most raging pain in that ass, he'd ever met. Except was completely Mrs McPhee's fault that she was a pain in the ass, just like it was Stiles' fault he was a pain in ass. At least Stiles could blame it on a medical condition, what was the old bat's excuse? Well it was clearly time for the Sheriff to have another sex talk with Stiles, who'd been so obsessed with Lydia that discussing his being gay or bi had seemed completely redundant.

* * *

A few days later the Sheriff knocked on Stiles' bedroom door and pushed it open, when his teenaged son yelled "Yo" from the other side. "Stiles we need to talk, it may be uncomfortable for both of us. That's why we be talking at the kitchen table."

**'Talk at the kitchen table. This was bad! They'd talked at the kitchen table, when they talked about the birds and the bees. But they were hardly going to be discussing that again. They'd talked at the kitchen table, when his goldfish died, also when his grandparents and mother died. Oh God, his dad was dying!"**

"Oh God, you can't die daddy. Then I'll have nobody. Daddy please, please don't die on me."

_'Oh, crap.'_

It had never ocurred to the Sheriff, that needing to talk would make Stiles worry. It certainly never ocurred to him that Stiles might think he was dying. Of course, 'the kitchen table' which Stiles avoided like the plague. The kitchen table that Stiles had basically been conditioned to associate with bad news. The last time they'd sat there to talk, Stiles had learnt that his mother wouldn't being coming home from the hospital, which was for all intents and purposes the same as telling him his mother was dying. He realised his mistake, as he stared at the stricken look in his son's honey-brown eyes, the way his face had paled and the helplessness in Stiles voice was heart-breaking. He walked over to the bed and wrapped his arms around his son, pulling Stiles close to his chest and running his fingers through his buzzed hair, while he shushed his body-wracking sobs.

"I'm sorry Stiles', I'm not dying. I didn't mean to scare you, I just wasn't thinking."

Slowly, Stiles' started to process the Sheriff's words. He slowly got his breathing and sobbing under control, tears still rolled silently down his cheeks and he continued to hug his father as tightly as he could. The Sheriff squeezed his son back, hoping that uncomfortable tight embrace was somehow comforting, he was haunted by the fact that Stiles had called him daddy, since Stiles had abandoned calling him daddy when he turned 5. The Sheriff continued to hold his son, until he finally fell asleep then he kissed him lightly on the forehead and went to his own room. They could discuss Stiles' sexuality and boyfriend later, maybe they could go somewhere nice for dinner and Stiles could invite the boy along, so the Sheriff could make sure that he was good enough for Stiles.

* * *

"OMG, Sheriff your Stiles is one lucky bastard. I saw him with a total hottie, making out like totally full on."

"Sorry Mrs Hilton!?" He'd never actually heard a teenage girl speak like that. It was doubly baffling with Mrs Hilton, because she was actually on the side of 40 that was much closer to 50.

"The Super Stud! With the cheekbones and the stubble, the Leather jacket and I'm willing to bet that he's got some serious equipment in the bedroom department." As she said 'bedroom department' she reached down and groin-checked rapper-style.

"Oh his boyfriend." The Sheriff blushed. He had no desire to know about his son's boyfriend's male equipment. Unless it was to confirm that said equipment remained inside it's owner's boxers and jeans, whenever Stiles was in a 20 foot radius.

"I snapped a little fotopic of him this afternoon, for personal reasons."

"Can I see?" He asked, overlooking Mrs Hilton obvious disregard of other people's privacy, in favour of seeing the boy he was so well informed about, but had never actually seen.

OK! He definitely didn't expect that. He expected to see a cute 16 year old boy in Mrs Hilton's photo, not the well defined muscular bulk of Derek Hale, stripping out of a wifebeater. Derek Hale a accused murderer and person of interest, in at least 1 Beacon Hills Sheriff's Department case, Derek Hale who was 6 year's his son's senior. Derek Hale who was suddenly on the Sheriff's 'people who'll be lucky to still be breathing in an hour' list. In fact Derek Hale was the only name on that list. The Sheriff marched over to his own house, he opened the front door and strode to the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

"STILES, GET DOWN HERE NOW."

"Yo Dad, what's up?" Stiles said brightly as he arrived at the top of the stairs.

"Remember when I said we need to talk, well we're talking now."

Stiles walked down the stairs, he was willing to co-operate, although his facial expression and body language screamed confusion. "Dad, I don't know what it is but I haven't done anything I swear."

"Mrs McPhee knows and Mrs Hilton know, why am I the only one that doesn't know?"

"Doesn't know what dad?"

"About Derek Hale! Tip Son! If you don't want your father, the Sheriff, finding out about your much older boyfriend don't make out with him in full view of the neighbours."

Stiles blushed then dragged his father over to the couch, "OK, it was dumb to try and hide it from you. But I love Derek and I was afraid you'd try and put a bullet in him. If it helps you can ask me any question and I'll answer completely honestly."

"Are you having sex with Derek?"

"Daaad!"

"OK! Sore subject."

"I wanna be having sex with him, but he's all 'No we can't have sex ever, in case I break you with my giant horse cock."

"Stiles!"

"OK, he actually said 'No we can't have sex until your 18, because you're not emotionally ready and I'm Derek Hale, therefore I don't know how to have fun." The Sheriff stared at Stiles, in a less than amused fashion. "Fine." Stiles huffed, "He didn't say the I don't know how to have fun part. But he did say the 'NO SNU-SNU' part, which is stupid, does anybody really think I'll be any more mature a year from now?"

"A year from now, you'll still only be 17."

"OH MY GOD! You sound just like him." Stiles rolled his eyes, "That's exactly what he said, when I tried to used that same argument on him."

"Well, I clearly misjudged Mr Hale. It's clear that he also has your best interests at heart, you have my blessing to proceed. But Derek will start having lunch with us on Sunday, so I can get to know him better. Also next time you're making out with Derek, put on a real show for Mrs McPhee, I want her to have a heart attack before my re-election campaign starts."

"Daaad!"

"What?"

"God, everybody's against me. Scott and Allison are having sex and so are Lydia and Jackson, Danny's probably screwed every guy in The Jungle and you and Derek are both on 'Team YAY! Stiles is Celibate.' But your encouraging me to make out with my supermodel hot boyfriend, to give Mrs McPhee a heart attack, without considering the consequences for me. You don't care that if I make out with Derek, without having sex with him, that I'll probably die from massive penis trauma before I get anywhere near turning 18. I hate all of you, why is this my life?"

The Sheriff just smiled as Stiles stomped back to his room.


	4. Make Out Point

The Sheriff drew his gun while he approached Derek Hale's car, he knew it was Derek's car because nobody else in Beacon Hills own a Camaro. It was flashy, ostentatious and the Sheriff knew exactly how Derek had paid for it. While he knew that Derek wasn't a killer, he wasn't convinced that Derek wasn't involved in other illegal activites. It troubled him deeply that Derek had been seen hanging around Beacon Hill High School, because Derek was definitely involved in the drug trade and the Sheriff had just been provided with an opportunity to bust Derek. The windows of the black Camaro were steamed up, so there was a possibility that this wasn't a drug deal. But what if it was, opportunities like this weren't going to come up all the time. The Sheriff knocked on the window of the Camaro.

"Derek Hale, the Preserve is closed for the night. I know that you know, you shouldn't be here. Wind down your window please and be warned I better not catch you doing something illegal."

"Shit, Derek don't do it."

"Sti... he's gonna arrest me if I don't."

"He's gonna arrest you if you do."

"Derek, who's in the car with you. That voice sounds familiar."

"Uh-uh!"

"Hurry up Derek, I'm an officer of the law and I'm not playing around anymore."

The Sheriff could hear fumbling from the car. Losing his patience and thinking they were somehow trying to dispose of the evidence, the Sheriff brought the butt of his gun down heavily on the driver's side window. The glass shattered and the tiny cubes fell, exposing an exposed Derek. Well a partially exposed Derek. Thankfully he'd managed to put Derek Jr. away, because that was not a sight that the Sheriff wanted to see. Derek sat looking highly uncomfortable and the Sheriff hunkered down, to see who was sharing this 'magical' moment with Derek. The Sheriff's jaw dropped, in a moment reminiscent of old Loonie Tunes cartoons, Stiles sat in the passenger seat. Fly undone, Stiles Jr. thankfully out of sight, his shirt was buttoned wrong, his lips were swollen, hopefully from kissing, and there were several dark bruises around his neck.

"STILES, did I not warn you about getting into cars with strange men." the made a conscious effort to get his voice under control.

"Derek's not a strange man." Stiles mumbled.

"He's 16 Hale, explain to me what's going on."

"I d, didn't f.."

Derek was cut short as the Sheriff, unable to maintain his composure, cocked his gun and leaned through the window, pointing it directly at Derek's crotch. He could see the fear in Derek's eyes, he just didn't know it was because Derek was suddenly unsure as to whether he could regrow his cock, he knew what he was doing was technically illegal and much worse than statutory rape. He knew he was being unreasonable and he was also aware that Stiles was also in the car scared out of wits, but none of those things mattered. He was a man on a mission, Derek had done god knows what with his son and that was completely unacceptable. Screw the law he wanted answers and wanted them now, he also wanted vengence if he didn't like those answers.

"Dad, please! Derek didn't make me do anything. Please Dad, please put the gun away." the fear in Stiles voice got through to the Sheriff.

"I want answers and I want them now!" the Sheriff said as he reholstered his gun, making an effort for Stiles' benefit.

"I'm gay Dad, or maybe bi I don't know for sure. But I'm definitely not straight and this is my 3rd date with Derek."

"Oh!" the Sheriff made an effort to appear calm as he processed this new information. He didn't care if Stiles was gay, he just cared that he was fooling around with Derek Hale.

"I tried to tell outside Jungle, that time but you shot me down and said there was no way I could be gay."

"I'm sorry Stiles, I was profiling and that was wrong of me."

"S'Okay." Stiles muttered.

"Derek, do you have anything to add?"

"Sir, I'd never do anything to take advantage of Stiles. I know that probably doesn't mean much, since were both unzipped and whatever. I know it probably doesn't make a difference, that I should have been more mature and said STOP or NO. But I haven't pressured Stiles into anything."

"Hmmm." the Sheriff continued to hmm, as he contemplated whether he believed Derek or not.

"Dad it's my fault we look so dishevelled, I took off my own shirt and I unzipped us both. I was going to... um, yeah know. Before you got here and interuptted us."

"I'm sorry if my approaching your illegally parked car is such an inconvience." the Sheriff retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Dad, can I get a free pass on this one? I did try and tell you, but you didn't believe me."

"You tried to tell me you were gay or bi, or whatever. But never at any point did you mention that you might have a boyfriend, who's almost 10 years older than you.

"Daaad." Stiles whined.

"OK, here's what we're going to do. Stiles you can continue dating Derek. Because I know if I forbid you, you'll just go behind my back anyway."

"OK, Dad." Stiles cheered as he beamed a smile.

"Oh, I'm not done yet Stiles. Your new curfew is 11:30. You're not to go to Derek's place and if he's at ours, he will leave at 11:30. Scott's word is no longer enough. Unless I hear it from Melissa, I'll assume that your not at Scott's but at Derek's. Then you will be grounded and have all TV, video game and driving privileges taken away. Derek will start joining us for lunch on Sunday's, if you're dating him I need to get to know him. That's all I can think of for now."

"Dad, your the best." Stiles said happily, although it did lack sincerity.

"We will abide by your rules, sir." Derek said with an air of finality and authority.

"Stiles it's 11:00, you and Derek better leave now if you want to make curfew. I'll be driving past our house in 45 minutes, to make sure that no rules are being broken."

"Aww, Daaad!" Stiles groaned.

"I pulled a gun on Derek tonight and that's the only reason I haven't arrested him. Next time I catch you doing something more extreme than kissing, I won't hesitate to arrest Derek. I'll let the hickies slide for now but don't give him anymore Derek, it's just not appropriate. It's 11:03!"

"Bye Dad!" Stiles retorted, his voice heavy with resentment.

"Bye Sheriff Stilinski." Derek said as he put his car in gear and pulled away.


	5. Unexpected Developments

It was Saturday Morning and Sheriff Stilinski fully intended to exploit that fact. He was allowed Bacon one day a week, without any interference from Stiles, unless Stiles was in trouble, then his Bacon ration increased. On a roll the Sheriff decided to fry his eggs instead of scrambling them, he cracked the eggs and broke them into the frying pan. He grinned despite the fact his Cholesterol level rose, by simply looking at his breakfast feast. As his eggs cooked he heard footsteps thud on the stairs, realizing Stiles was awake he cracked 2 more eggs into the frying pan. By the time Stiles sat down at the table his eggs were cooked, the Sheriff plated up the food and set a plate down in front of his son. Stiles looked a little green around the edges, the Sheriff tried to be sympathetic until he let out a slight chuckle.

"Oh God, Dad - I, uh"... Stiles started to wretch as he spoke.

Once he got his wretching under control Stiles scowled, looking at the plate like it had personally offended him. Actually he was looking at the plate like it had mortally wounded him. He picked up his fork and poked the egg yoke with it, grimacing at the thought of eating. It remind the Sheriff of the expression Stiles wore, when he learnt Burgers come from Cows and he became a vegeterian. Unlike the vegetarian phase, this wasn't going to end with Stiles declaring "The Cows had it coming, tasting good is not a good evolutionary strategy." This looked more like it was going to end with Stiles puking on his shoes and then spending a week driving the Sheriff crazy, while he was bedridden. Without warning Stiles started wretching again, he immediately slid from his chair and charged out of the room.

"Thank God for downstairs toilets. Eh kid!" the Sheriff hollered after his son.

"I don't feel so good dad." Stiles grumbled as he returned to the kitchen.

The sheriff fully aware that Stiles reverted to being 5 years old when he was sick, stood up and placed his hand on Stiles' forehead. Then he checked Stiles' throat for tenderness and swelling. He was about to tell Stiles to go to bed, when Stiles charged back out of the room. Presumably to the downstairs toilet again, the Sheriff followed his son. Entering the bathroom he placed his hand flat on Stiles' back and rubbed gently knowing the motion would both soothe Stiles and help him to bring up whatever might be making him sick. The Sheriff stared into space as Stiles stopped wretching and final brought up his stomach contents, it wasn't pleasant, but it would absolutely help him to feel better. He resigned himself to a shop run, somebody needed to pick up the Gatorade and Strawberry cough bottle, that Stiles insisted on when he was sick.

"Look on the bright side kid, you feel better by Monday. Unless you did something stupid, like getting knocked up by Derek Hale."

"Ha, Ha that's funny dad and not at all helpful. Besides you already know I hardly know Derek Hale, I just know him through Scott and since I'm a teenaged boy and can't get knocked up, I'll thank you to go pick up Blue Gatorade and a Strawberry cough bottle. Right now they are my one true love."

"I notice you deny knowing Derek Hale, but didn't deny being sexually active."

"Oh God, dad, I'm in Hell. Can we not? Besides I didn't think I needed to deny being sexually active, my Virginity is still intact and iron-clad. God knows I've tried giving my Virginity away, but nobody wants it and why am I discussing my lack of a sex life with you? Dad, go get me drugs!"

* * *

After his dad left Stiles seriously considered "El Weird" that now constituted his life. He'd excepted that Werewolves were real with relative ease and suspects that would be true, even if Scott hadn't been the reason he learnt about the existence of Werewolves. If Werewolves were real than Vampires were probably real too and who knows what other supernatural creatures might exist, except for Were-Panthers and Were-Tigers because that's just ridiculous. With his nausea under control, he marched out to his Jeep and drove to the nearest Pharmacy. At this point pregnant teenaged boy wasn't all that big of a stretch, especially when said teenaged boy had abandoned his Virginity months ago in the back seat of Derek Hale's Camaro. Somebody had wanted his virginity and that somebody was, of course, Derek Hale - Alpha Werewolf Extraordinaire. If somebody was going to get a teenaged boy pregnant the odds were it was an Alpha Werewolf.

* * *

Derek looked at the tiny blue line on the white stick, then he looked at Stiles and once again at the stick, while Stiles wished that he discovered Derek's newest facial expression under different circumstances. He knew his heart was racing and that Derek would be able to hear his heart racing, after he'd recovered from the shock of tiny blue line he'd phoned Deaton and made an appointment for himself. Wasn't that just a kicker, his Obstetrician was going to be the local Veterinarian - review "El Weird". Then he phoned Derek and asked him to come over, he promised himself he was going to remain calm only screaming and kicking Derek in the balls after he got answers. Derek looked at him again, appeared to try and say something before shrugging his shoulders and looking puzzled. He shrugged, that was the only trigger Stiles required at this point.

"You're shrugging, that's your answer. Use your words Derek, I need answers and I need them before I become a father or mother." Stiles yelled.

"Stiles I..."

"Derek, I'm not going to be a father or a mother, I'm just gonna be a big freak aren't I." Stiles sobbed, the realisation that gender norms didn't apply here suddenly hitting him with all the added weight that carried.

Derek reached out and pulled Stiles into a hug, "Your not a freak, besides it's a home pregnancy test and they aren't always right."

"I guess." Stiles muttered quietly.

* * *

During the week Deaton confirmed what Stiles had been dreading, he hadn't told Derek yet. Even worse he had to tell his father, but telling his father meant revealing the existence of Werewolves and other supernatural stuff. The week had been uneventful for the Sheriff at least, who was already in the kitchen with Bacon and Eggs in the frying pan. Stiles wandered into the Kitchen fully prepared to reprimand his father, over his breakfast choices, however the smell of Bacon and grease completely overwhelmed him and he charged off to the downstairs toilet, wretching. As he crouched over the toilet bowl; he decided it would be better if breakfast caused his father's heart attack, instead of the news that Werewolves existed and one of them had gotten his son pregnant.

"Stiles, are you OK, do you need me to call the doctor? Should I set up an appointment with the Oncologist?" That was the question on everybody's lips, when a Stilinski was sick for more than a few days.

"No Dad, I'm fine. Tuna Surprise in the Cafeteria yesterday, nobody told me the surprise was whether you lived through the night or not!"

"Fine, I'll go get your meds. But how many more times do I have to tell you not to eat anything with surprise in the name?"

* * *

After his father left, Stiles tried to go back to bed, he just wanted to sleep and forget this whole horrible business. But since Stiles life has never gone as he planned, he's actually stopped planning his life because the supernatural will laugh at those plans, Derek climbed through his window. For once he actually made enough noise to make Stiles aware of his presence. Stiles turned on to his back, with his face no longer buried in his pillow, he could see Derek, even speak to Derek. But for once in his life Stiles didn't want to say a word. If he didn't tell anybody, that he was pregnant, then he could pretend everything was fine, he could go back to burying his head in the sand. Why couldn't Stiles have the sort of problems that could be dealt with by avoiding them, until they went away.

"Stiles, are you OK? What did Deaton say?"

"He said congratulations, your having puppies. I've reached a new low Derek, the local Veterinarian is my Obstetrician."

"Stiles!" Derek's voice had that harsh quality. The one that usually preceeded Stiles being slammed into a wall.

"No Derek, you don't get to be annoyed. You don't get to be angry at me and you definitely don't get to slam my into a wall. I'm the guy that's pregnant, I'm the... Get that look of your face right now Derek, you don't get to be a martyr. I'm the one that just spent the morning hugging the toilet bowl. I'm the guy that gets to be the first guy in the history of ever to be pregnant." Stiles shouted.

"So, it's definite? But how?"

"Because you have indestructible Werewolf Sperm. You can't tell me you didn't this was a possibility, your like those 'We don't need a condom, I swear I'll pull out baby' guys."

"Stiles I honestly didn't know I could get you pregnant. I was orphaned before mum and dad explained mating rights properly."

"Mating rights! No, you don't get to play the 'I'm an orphan' card. I'm pregnant and I'm scared and your not getting off the hook."

Derek, sensing Stiles' distress, reached out, gently touching the palm of his hand to Stiles' cheek. Stiles placed his hand on Derek's, before gripping Derek's wrist with his free hand and pressing deeper into the warm comforting touch. Derek grabbed the back of Stiles' head with his free hand, forcing Stiles to make eye contact with him.

"I promise I'll be there for you, you're my mate and you've somehow found a way to give me the things I accepted I'd never have. You're amazing and I'll be with you forever, you were more than enough of a reason for me to want to live and move on with me life. I wanted to move on with my life, just you and me would have made me happy. But somehow you're giving me yet another reason to find my way back to the person I used to be."

There was a knock on the door, "Stiles I was just wondering if you could find the time to explain, how Werewolves are real and I'm going to be a grandfather? It will do when Derek leaves."

"Uh, Sure Dad." Stiles glared at Derek, it was less than intimidating. "How come you didn't hear him come in?" Stiles yelled.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear the door over your shouting."

"Incidentally, your shouting is also the reason I know about Werewolves and about your 'Ripley's believe it or not' worthy pregnancy. Derek since I'm aware you're a Werewolf I'm going to save myself from being eaten, by ignoring the fact that you had unprotected sex with my underage son. I'm sure you agree, now is not the time for further stupidity."

"Yes sir!"

"Wait, as I recall your virginity is still intact and Iron-clad Stiles. So I guess Derek hasn't been having unprotected sex with a minor, it must be an immaculate conception. Derek I trust you'll be leaving now, I need to talk with my son. Join us for lunch tomorrow, I need to catch up on lost time with my future son-in-law."

"I hate you more than I hate Derek." Stiles groaned.

"I know son, I know." the Sheriff chuckled as he made his way out of Stiles' room.


End file.
